The Mystery Between a Rock and a Hard Place
Cultivating curiosity in challenging situations to manage our response to mental/physical stress and increase flow.
“Curiosity is the sweetest form of dissatisfaction.” – Ian Leslie (2014)
Curiosity is a basic, yet powerful state. You can likely recall a time when you experienced the drive of curiosity. But have you ever been curious about curiosity itself? I believe that by looking into our own curiosity, we can learn to cultivate it. The ability to bring a truly curious mindset to the day to day can dramatically improve the most challenging and/or stressful situations and help us to find flow.
I was inspired to share these ideas due to my own experience of using curiosity in challenge. In 2016, I had been suffering from bouts of anxiety, especially when climbing. I began working with a sports psychologist and reading books on performance. My mental training was still in its infancy during the following story. It was out of sheer necessity that I found a way and ultimately learned the power of perspective.
The paper explores how curiosity works and how it relates to stress and flow. Finally, there is a list of “tools” to cultivate curiosity for managing stress and moving into flow. Practice these tools to find the power of your own perspective.
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The Nose of El Capitan, November 2016
“Nooo.” I gasped into the darkness, watching my full water bottle fall. It hurtled through space below me, then out of range of my headlamp beam. Still staring into the abyss below, I imagined it falling the rest of the two thousand feet. After 11 hours of near constant climbing, I was two-thirds of the way up on the sheer face of Yosemite's El Capitan. Just below “The Great Roof”, I sat still for a moment on a two foot by two foot ledge, too stunned to move or think clearly.
Then it truly set in: I now faced another thousand feet of the steepest, hardest climbing, with only about two ounces of water left. And I was alone.
(I will spare the complex, technical details of how to go about climbing El Cap alone.) Instead imagine this: you are running a one-hundred-mile ultra-marathon. At about mile seventy you run out of water. Now you’re looking at the longest, steepest hill climb of the whole race. And oh yeah, there aren’t anymore aid stations.
Dread clenched like a fist around my gut.
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The Unknown
Curiosity | noun:
“an eager wish to know or learn about something” (Cambridge Dictionary, 2021).
“Having wandered some distance among gloomy rocks, I came to the mouth of a great cavern, in front of which I stood for some time, astonished. Bending back and forth, I tried to see whether I could discover anything inside, but the darkness within prevented that. Suddenly there arose in me two contrary emotions, fear and desire — fear of the threatening dark cave, desire to see whether there were any marvelous thing within.” – Leonardo da Vinci (Leslie, 2014)
While researching curiosity, I was left with more of it. At face value, it seemed like a basic enough concept. However, the scientific community has yet to agree on a succinct definition of curiosity. It is widely discussed as a drive for information. In his book Curious, Ian Leslie describes curiosity as a state that is unique only to human beings. He calls it “the fourth basic drive”, after food, sex and shelter (Leslie, 2014). This desire to learn and know may account for humanity’s ability to adapt, survive and thrive across such diverse environments and circumstances around the globe.
The basic drive for information is stimulated by a sweet spot in the amount of information one has on a specific subject. With too little information on a topic, our interest isn’t piqued, on the other hand, once we gain enough information, we lose interest in gaining more. When an amount of information on a topic is just right, we perceive an information gap – an awareness that there are things that we do not know. This not knowing can put us into the “curiosity zone” (Leslie, 2014).
The same information gap also has the potential to cause stress/fear/anxiety, depending on the context and depending on one’s mindset. Many factors affect the human brain’s perception of the unknown. It doesn’t always accurately differentiate between real risk and perceived risk. Many people experience stress beyond what is warranted for the situation and/or they may experience chronic anxiety.
On a spectrum of perception of the unknown, curiosity and fear may be seen as opposite ends. Each emotion along this spectrum is important to be aware of – curiosity can be pleasurable and help us deepen our learning and stress is a natural response to dangerous situations and should not be treated lightly. Remember: “a healthy fear of the unknown has allowed humanity to survive and thrive for millennia” (Baker, 2017).
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The Nose of El Capitan, November 2016
I knew exactly what needed to be done, there wasn’t really a way for me to go down from there: I had to keep climbing. Objectively speaking, with a certain amount of pure grit, I was probably physically capable. But then my mind began to fill with scene after scene of worst-case possibilities. These scenes ranged on a spectrum of somewhat likely to be fully irrational.
I sighed in defeat, leaned back against the wall and shut off my headlamp.
I felt the cool granite on my back. Eyes adjusting to the darkness, I slowly became aware of what, moments ago, had merely been an empty void around me. The stars seemed closer. I could hear the faint gurgle of the Merced river, weaving through the meadow below. The serenity of my surroundings was a stark contrast to my internal tumult. Aware of my insignificance in this vast space, I began to take a wider perspective. It was as if I was surveying the scene from somewhere outside of myself.
I had decided to come up here. Because it’s a spectacular place. And because it was a goal, a challenge I had set for myself. I inhaled deeply and let out a long, slow breath. What did I expect? I didn’t come up here to not try hard. As I pondered, I realized that every muscle was tensed in anticipation of suffering, of some hypothetical struggle. I noticed the clenched sensation in my stomach. Why does it feel like that? And what am I really worried about? What will it actually be like to continue? I wonder…
The feeling of dread shifted into interest – almost excitement. I wanted to explore the depth of my capability. I wanted to know what it was like to push myself that hard. In that desire to know, I found the drive to push on.
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What is flow?
Flow is experienced across every field, from sports to art and from businesses to playgrounds. Many descriptors can be attributed to flow, including: an optimal state of consciousness, an intrinsically rewarding experience, the merging of action and awareness, a loss of sense of self and time, complete absorption and a sense of effortlessness. Of the many definitions of flow, the following is perhaps the most succinct and therefore is a personal favorite: “Flow is an intrinsically rewarding state of absorption in which control feels effort-less” (Norsworthy, 2021).
Many elements come together to create flow experiences. The following five factors, particularly pertinent to this discussion, increase the chance of finding flow within an activity:
Motivation: pure, intrinsic motivation for the activity/the activity embodies our values.
Challenge to skill balance: a specific amount of challenge, equal to or just above our perceived skill level for the activity. Too much challenge creates stress, too little challenge results in a lack of focus.
Resilience: a growth mindset, focuses on process goals and allows us to see “failure” as learning.
Attention: being focused on this moment, here and now. “Optimizing the contents of your consciousness towards presence and absorption.” (Norsworthy, 2021).
Trust: a. Knowing that we are entering into a challenge and we have the skill set. b. We are able to push those skills because we have cultivated a resilient mindset. c. Therefore, we can let an experience happen, releasing into flow.
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The Nose of El Capitan, November 2016
Fingers wrapped around the familiar hold, sensing each grain of the rock, in just the right position. Toe on this crystal. Breathe. Reach. Hand settled into the crack, slotted against the natural undulations of stone. Every part of my being perfectly connected, present with movement through this space… flow.
About twelve hours after the “water bottle incident”, I pulled myself to the top of the Nose of El Capitan. I had climbed with very few breaks for twenty-three hours and been awake for around twenty-seven hours. I had only drank one liter of water. The first rays of golden light were touching the high peaks in the distance. I found water on the top, took a sip, sat down and cried. I watched the sunrise for the second time that “day” and I’ve never felt more alive.
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Cultivating Curiosity and Finding Flow
“Your doubts can become a good quality if you school them. They must grow to be knowledgeable, they must learn to be critical. As soon as they begin to spoil something for you, ask them why the thing is ugly? Demand hard evidence, test them… Request arguments and act with this kind of attentiveness and consistency every single time, and the day will come, when instead of demolishers, they will be among your best workers, perhaps the canniest of all those at work in the building of your life.” – Rainier Maria Rilke (2016).
The following tools can help cultivate curiosity and manage stress. They are building blocks to the five factors above that increase flow. The tools are all interconnected in engaging intrinsic motivation, creating optimal challenges, developing resilience and maintaining awareness. More specifically, skills that train the ability to regulate emotion will help maintain an optimal challenge to skill balance for entering into flow. These factors combined create a sense of trust, allowing us to release into flow experiences.
1. Breathe
The breath is a normally automatic function that is always there to use as a tool. There are a nearly infinite number of specific breathing methods. Among other things, these exercises can have powerful effects on our autonomic nervous system, either increasing our arousal or decreasing our sympathetic (stress) response.
Breath work is one component of Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR). Mindfulness is defined as “paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally to the unfolding of experience moment by moment” (Kabat-Zinn, 2003). The MBSR practices have been shown to help find an inner source of calm, move from fear to curiosity and stay focused. (Hjeltnes, et al. 2015).
Witnessing the breathing rhythm in and out is a simple way to begin to build curiosity, decrease stress and improve focus. This in turn can help us reach an optimal challenge to skill balance and find flow.
2. Ask questions.
In your day to day, notice when curiosity arises. Practice taking inventory of your physical and emotional experiences and your surroundings. Ask what does ‘x’ emotion feel like in the body, how can I do ‘y’ better, how does ‘z’ work the way it does? Recognize what it feels like to have an information gap that drives you toward finding an answer. Developing inquisitiveness builds a habit of curiosity and helps to be more aware from moment-to-moment of our mental state. Awareness is the first step in regulating our emotions (Walter, 2020).
3. Make learning a goal.
Ask what can be learned from this? Goals create focus. Focus improves attention. Learning oriented goals increase resilience by reducing outcome-oriented-goal pressure. Learning goals also naturally help us develop skills. Skills build confidence and can help create the optimal challenge to skill balance for situations that would otherwise be stressful. There is always something to learn, so we can always find success.
4. Accept the challenge.
Challenge is an essential part of finding flow. To be curious we first have to recognise that an information gap exists. When there is something worth learning, it is likely to be a challenge. If we aren’t challenged, we get bored! The challenge is here, you might as well embrace it.
5. Be playful!
“Play is the active part of creativity. Children naturally play with great bravery. They play with courage. They play because they are in the beginning. They are in that place where anything is possible. To a kid the unknown is a world waiting to be explored” (Baker, 2017).
Play is a basic, intrinsically motivated activity. Exploratory play taps into our innate drive for information. We become absorbed, focused on the task at hand. In play we embody trust, release control and find flow.
6. Practice
In order for these skills to be effective in highly challenging situations, two conditions need to be met: First, practice the above skills during less challenging circumstances. Second, acknowledge that you are capable of changing your perspective. Practice will help build the habit of inquisitiveness. Practice also builds a foundation of confidence that you are in charge of your experience. Day to day curiosity can lead to a dramatic shift in the experience of challenge. It can lead from feeling stuck between a rock and a hard place to finding flow.
Resources
Baker, E. (2017, Jun 2). Replace Fear of the Unknown with Curiosity. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYrX3qvdNaM
Cambridge Dictionary (2021). Cambridge University Press. https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/curiosity
DiMarco, I.D. Ph.D. (2020, Nov 17). The Power of Responding to Anxiety with I Wonder. Psychology Today Blog: Mom Brain. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mom-brain/202011/the-power-responding-anxiety-i-wonder
Hjeltnes A, Binder PE, Moltu C, Dundas I. (2015, Aug 20). Facing the fear of failure: An explorative qualitative study of client experiences in a mindfulness-based stress reduction program for university students with academic evaluation anxiety. Int J Qual Stud Health Well-being. 2015;10:27990. Published doi:10.3402/qhw.v10.27990
Kabat-Zinn J. (2003). Mindfulness-based interventions in context: Past, present, and future. Clinical Psychology-Science and Practice. 10(2):144–156. doi: 10.1093/Clipsy/Bpg016.
Leslie, I. (2014). Curious: The desire to know and why your future depends on it. Basic Books.
Li, D. & Browne, G. (2004). "The Role of Need for Cognition in Online Flow Experience: An Empirical Investigation" AMCIS 2004 Proceedings. 386. http://aisel.aisnet.org/amcis2004/386
Norsworthy, C. (2021). Flow Diploma Course. The Flow Centre.
Patenaude, M. (2015, Nov 5). What Drives Curiosity Research. University of Rochester. https://www.rochester.edu/newscenter/what-drives-curiosity-research/
Rilke, R. M. (2016). Letters to a young poet. Penguin Classics.
Walter, L. LCSW (2020, May 21). Managing Uncertainty When Nothing Is Certain. Psychology Today Blog: Life Without Anxiety. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/life-without-anxiety/202005/managing-uncertainty-when-nothing-is-certain
